As part of a paid opportunity and my own personal interests to produce a documentary while abroad, I have had the distinct pleasure of interviewing 8 out of ten students who have taken the risk, put forth the effort, and made possible the journey to México. Having had the opportunity to interview them, and having made it a priority to get to know each and every one of them, I am pleased to know them. I have surpassed the boundaries most people, consciously or not, create between themselves and those around them.
With that said, it may appear that I am just doing my job. But, I have to admit that I am the type of person that craves a deeper relationship with those around me. This desire, of course, is carefully orchestrated back home the United States. And there are often many variables that come into play. We never just go out and let our guard down, make friends, and carry on like nothing even happened. We often choose our friends wisely, most of us are skeptics, and if you think you're not a skeptic now, just wait.
I am reflecting on this relational aspect of our being for a couple of reasons. One reason is that the group of us have journeyed down to México with dreams of acquiring new knowledge, experiences, new found relationships, as well as a multitude of other interests. I personally have struggled to communicate effectively with my señora and her niece. That struggle alone and the burning desire to connect with the locals and get a better sense of what makes them tick is literally tearing me apart. But, it is obvious that many people here welcome their neighbors. The hospitality here is unlike any I have witness back home in the US. A sharp contrast to this, even though the crime rate in Querétaro is apparently low, are the bars over windows and doors, gates in front of every house locking away possessions, and broken glass atop the highest walls. All of which adequately displays the security everyone here believes to be absolutely necessary. This may stem from a long history of social and economic instability.
Even now as three candidate run for president of México, I have seen anti-corruption commercials on television, and images to riots and the sense of chaos that would ensue otherwise. Having read very little about México's history, political and economic struggles have ensued elsewhere through Southern America, and so it would not be a surprise if México had experienced many social and governmental upheavals throughout the years.
Here I am, in a new country, here to learn their language, to understand the culture, and to make a real connection with the people. That is all I desire. I have been told that it is important to have a good attitude, to laugh at your mistakes, and move forward. I can have a good attitude, I can laugh at myself, and I can try, try again. But I fear that I will have learned the language much too late and will be long gone from this place prior to truly enjoying my newly found abilities.
It's not that I miss home, but I just don't feel like I belong here. If and when I feel content, it may be necessary for me to leave, and I find no pleasure given that outcome.
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A WEEKEND TO REMEMBER
Saturday April 7th, the entire group (ten people) went down to the central part of town to celebrate a birthday party for one of the girls. At first we went to an 80's bar that consisted mostly of 50's decor and the music rarely sparked attention to the 80's. We had a few drinks, took a few pictures, and winded up in the newspaper a few days later. They knew we were turistas, but I don't think they knew we'd be here for the next nine weeks.
Onto College Bar, this was the highlight of the night for me. You see, prior to coming down to México one of my professors shared her own experiences traveling and studying abroad. She indicated a desire to submerge herself in the culture, and with that she found herself a boyfriend. I knew I would learn more if I had a deeper relationship with one of the locals. Luckily for me, all the dancing and fun at College Bar paid off. One of the Méxicanos approaches me and asked if I would dance with his friend. It was the girl's birthday and us gringos were the only one's in the bar dancing our asses off.
After dancing with the Méxicana I wished her a happy birthday and moved on, danced with las chicas con mi grupo, and heard from various females within my group that this girl had an eye on me. There was an obvious interest and so I had to dance with her again. She couldn't speak English and I could only speak un poco Spanish. On occasion she would consult her friend for translation. Dancing and conversing, it got to the point where she wanted to know if I was single, married, etc. I tell her I'm single, she tells me she's married, and we continue dancing. What happens next? We're done dancing, she tells me she's not actually married and that it was a lie, I act surprised, my friends apparently start for the door after paying our bill, I exchange numbers with this girl, and we make out in front of all the locals. Awesome, had a great time!
A week later, after multiple text messages, attempts to get to know each other etc. I begin to get the feeling that she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Text messages start to dwindle, she no longer replies to my inquiries, and what was once this wonderful experience becomes a fading memory.
I have read somewhere that many of the women here will see you as temporary, and with that, as I've witnessed is exactly the truth. I am here for only a few weeks, why would anyone want to develop a meaningful relationship with someone who is only around for a short while? I say, why let the boundaries our minds stop us from enjoying each other? I have learned, the hard way, that it is important to enjoy what you have while you have it. If only I could find a way to say that to her in Spanish.
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